File RAA-001 · Est. parody

Rent an
Assassin

America’s #1 assassin rental agency—limitless possibilities, priceless experiences.

Active roster

Our Assassins

Hand-selected operators. Every contract guaranteed.

Open bounty

HIT Hall of Fame

These individuals have proven themselves too elusive to capture. Help us find them, and a reward is yours.

Assigned Assassin
Jamie H. (Agent 42250423-54G)
Who
Red Stewardess @ Jackalope Airlines
Reward
$10,000,000 USD*
Next increase
in —
Open bounty: Red Stewardess at Jackalope Airlines

Agency brief

Who we are

Rent an Assassin is America’s #1 Assassin Rental Service. We provide our clients with limitless opportunities to fit their daily lives. With Rent an Assassin, we guarantee every job, every time. Our Clientele Concierges will be with you every step of the way, 24-hours a day, 7-days a week, on all continents. Clients from DPRK to China to the US to New Zealand love our services.

Call Us Today

Field calendar

Upcoming Events

Rent an Assassin has Client Acquisition Events often, so keep checking here for more updates. Click Save My Spot! to secure time with our Executive Account Managers. Walk-ups are welcome; VIPs save their spot online.

These events are costly. Help us by donating - you might get great perks. Choose Give Us Money! when you save your spot.

Check our Twitter and Discord for updates.

Save My Spot!